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Tag Archives: hope

I bought a new sketch book.

By
May 15, 2024
Art, Musing

It’s been over a decade since I last sketched. I loved to draw. I loved to write. I used to do both extensively. Then heartbreak and loss stopped every thing. I stopped everything.

Then I started playing Baldur’s Gate 3.

The need, the want to write, to draw, to make something, to create, began again.

I am a lot older. Not sure about the wiser part. Yet, it’s still part of me. The creative spark is still brilliant as ever. My skills have waned but I can bring them back. It’ll take time, practice but most of all, inspiration.

I realize now creatively, at least for me, is based in love. Love for life. Love for beauty and tragedy. Ten years is a long time to misplace that spark. I am glad I found it again. I don’t think it ever left, I let it go. Hurtful words tend to do that.

The different between then and now is that I love something. I love it with everything in me. These last 8 months have been wonderful for feeling again, for loving again. I feel like I finally came back to myself.

So, I bought a new sketch book. Time to doodle again. Time to write again. Time to love and create. I guess it makes sense to create is to love. It’s based in love. It’s necessary and vital. I just forgot.

August

By
August 3, 2023
Musing

Taylor Swift sings, “But I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away into a moment in time, ‘Cause it was never mine…”

Nine years ago, August 2014, my husband and I hiked the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. That year, I lost a friend. I lost an uncle. I feel like I lost my childhood naivety. I look back on that year and see the impact in the paths I’ve taken.

August 28, 2017, I began the doctoral program in Social Work at the University of Pennsylvania. I walked into orientation thinking, “They have no idea who they admitted.” There I was stepping into an Ivy League institution with no feeling of belonging, or connection. I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing or making a huge mistake. Little did I know, it was the best decision I ever made.

August 29, 2019, I bought a ticket to see Rhett & Link, Live. I was going to New Orleans, Louisiana and they were playing at the Saenger Theater. Then six months later, the COVID-19 pandemic began. Rhett & Link got me through quarantine. Even now, I watch Good Mythical Morning during breakfast. I didn’t realize until now how much I appreciate their content on YouTube or the community they have built.

From starting and finishing my doctorate as a promise to my uncle. To seeing Glacier National Park, a promise to my aunt. Now pursing a master’s in public health encouragement by my father from years past. Everything seems to originate in the month of August.