- I cannot see into or know the hearts of others.
- Everyone get’s fooled.
Tag Archives: change
Hozier… Where have I been?
His lyrics reverberate, they’re visceral and raw. They bring the past back to life in a way I never expected. How does he do that? I have Francesca, All things End, and Unknown/Nth from Unreal Unearth in 2023 on repeat. The song “Francesca” is reflecting 2010. It’s the echoes of a story long past from another’s life that is somehow distilled into this song. I am left reeling. Do you remember…? All too well.
“Darling, I would go through it again.”
That lyric alone moves me from indifference to another time, another place. I remember feelings long past. What is this? It’s beautiful. It’s marvelous. It’s tragic.
“And all things end…”
The amazing part of music is how it transports me back. Has it been 14 years since 2009? Soon 15 years will have passed. The year 2009 was an important year. The impact of the events of that year would impact the next 5 years to 2014. And let me tell you 2014. That year… Loss, hurt, pain and yet I look back with feelings of nostalgia, happiness and yearning.
“Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you?”
It’s going to be 10 years since 2014. So much has happened. I miss the woman that I was. She was so bold, daring, and fearless. I see the traces of her in me today. She changed. She learned. She would still do everything single thing she did from 2009 to 2014. No regrets. Time has eased the pain of the scars I bear today. I appreciate her. I miss her. So hopeful and a little naive.
August
Taylor Swift sings, “But I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away into a moment in time, ‘Cause it was never mine…”
Nine years ago, August 2014, my husband and I hiked the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. That year, I lost a friend. I lost an uncle. I feel like I lost my childhood naivety. I look back on that year and see the impact in the paths I’ve taken.
August 28, 2017, I began the doctoral program in Social Work at the University of Pennsylvania. I walked into orientation thinking, “They have no idea who they admitted.” There I was stepping into an Ivy League institution with no feeling of belonging, or connection. I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing or making a huge mistake. Little did I know, it was the best decision I ever made.
August 29, 2019, I bought a ticket to see Rhett & Link, Live. I was going to New Orleans, Louisiana and they were playing at the Saenger Theater. Then six months later, the COVID-19 pandemic began. Rhett & Link got me through quarantine. Even now, I watch Good Mythical Morning during breakfast. I didn’t realize until now how much I appreciate their content on YouTube or the community they have built.
From starting and finishing my doctorate as a promise to my uncle. To seeing Glacier National Park, a promise to my aunt. Now pursing a master’s in public health encouragement by my father from years past. Everything seems to originate in the month of August.